it is so frustrating~~

when i think i was not able to help my child enough so he can pass or he can cope
when i think i am giving him freedom and yet his discovery of the real world is not what he expects it to be
when i think my intentions are for his benefit and it turns out to hurt him
when i think i am being kind but it's not actually helping him
when i think i am training him but he's not happy about it.

let me suffer instead. let me have the pain and the hurt. let me have the failures.
i don't mind. no one will mind. just spare my child.